I love this! Hee, possessive Hakkai melts me into a little puddle.

lol, and so many great lines. Especially loved, "because he started coughing and hacking and waving his hands frantically like a virgin giving head for the first time"--that's wonderfully original and startlingly clear imagery. XD

I have such a weakness for stories that touch on Gojyo's kappa roots. ^_^ This was wonderful! Thank you.