Crazy Crossover Conversations Meme

[rheasilvia]

Seen at ignipes' LJ:

Give me two characters from different fandoms you know I'm familiar with, and I'll give you a dialogue happening between the two of them. Without justifying how the crossover would work, how their worlds clashed, or how they could even meet each other. Just a silly crossover conversation with no backstory, for fun.

I'm changing this slightly to include only fandoms I like, so as to minimize potential problem sources in writing these. :-) If you don't know what fandoms I know and like: My LJ interests are far from being a complete list, but they're a place to start. Also, anything I've ever talked or written about in a positive way is fair game.

There are some characters that refuse to talk to me, but I will do my best. *g*

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/solo____/]

Kame and Sorata.

(No, I don't know why.)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"I don't mean to be insulting, but you can't dance. And you can't sing. And you can't –"

The kid with the baseball cap grins broadly, and snaps his gum. "But I'm cute. And I can jump really high!"

Cute? Well, okay, maybe. Not that that really helps, in this instance. "We already have someone for the jumping. And he can also dance, and sing, and we're *all* cute. Are you sure you wouldn't rather be with Kanjani8?"

Now the kid – Sorata – rolls his eyes and sighs a heavily put-upon sigh. "Look, bro, I'm trying to help you guys out here. This Tokyo Dome thing is a kekkai, like I said. And we got reason to believe that it's next on the list. And your little concert thingie is going to suffer a whole lot more from the entire hall being blown to bits than from me not getting this poncy hip-shaking thing right."

Kame breathes for a little while and reminds himself that Johnny has personally requested they humor this – person.

"But what I don't understand is why you can't stay off at one side of the stage," Kame says doggedly. "If these evil angel characters –"

"The Angels of Earth," Sorata supplies helpfully. And snaps his gum again.

Kame grits his teeth. "What. Ever. There's no need for you to actually be on stage. Can't you just watch from the wings, or from the auditorium?"

"Well, yeah," Sorata says, and shrugs. "But where would the fun be in that?"

[executrix.livejournal.com]

Snape and Rahm Emanuel

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

While I know who Rahm Emanuel is, I confess that I know nothing at all about him beyond that! I don't feel up to writing him, I'm afraid... might I ask for someone else?

[ellensmithee.livejournal.com]

Methos running into one or both of the Winchester boys.

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

This is harder than expected - and that is not a pun. ;-) I will definitely get to this, but give me some time!

This turned out to be a sequel to something I've written before…

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"Why, let me think," says the guy in the bookstore. His accent matches his baggy sweater and the huge dusty old book propped against the register – the only thing missing are wire-rimmed glasses and a couple of decades. "Yes, I do believe I did notice something. Could you by any chance be referring to the freak lightning storm that all but blew away the neighboring bakery, smashed every one of my windows, and took down the power for four hours in the middle of the day?"

Dean does not roll his eyes. He is here in an official capacity, after all. "That's the one. The strange occurrence. That, uh, I was referring to."

"I see. And you are with the Federal Bureau of Investigations."

"Yep – that's right."

"And your name is Kerry King."

"That's –"

"Am I to assume, then, that your parents are very young thrash metal fans?"

"Hey, who's doing the interrogating here?"

Bookstore guy sighs. "Kid, get to the point or come back when you've learned to lie – this is embarrassing."

Never let it be said that Dean doesn't know when the game is up. "Okay, look. I'm not with the FBI and my name isn't Kerry King, although Kerry King is awesome. But the important thing is, these storms have been happening all over the city, and there's a pattern. They're not just meteorological phenomena. So if you could give me your cooperation here I'll be out of your hair in a –"

"What are they, then?"

"What?"

"If they're not just meteorological phenomena, then what are they?" Bookstore guy looks at Dean all wide-eyed and curious.

Dean sighs. "I could tell you, but you'd think I was insane."

"Would it help if I confessed to existing doubts concerning your mental stability?"

Jeez. Sarcastic much? "It's demons, okay?"

Now bookstore guy blinks, looking like nothing so much as a large, slightly dusty owl. "Demons."

"Yes. Demons. Possession, glowy eyes, the whole nine yards."

"I… see."

"Yeah, and I told you you were going to think I was insane. So anyway, just tell me what you remember and you'll be rid of –"

"Let me tell you something, Mr… King. You have a headache, right? In fact, you've had one ever since you turned the corner to my store."

Dean is the one who blinks now. "Uh. Do I look that bad?"

The guy grins at some kind of private joke and stands up, putting down something Dean hadn't seen him holding behind the counter. "I wouldn't say that."

"Then how –"

"I could tell you," says sarcastic bookstore guy, and smiles. "And you know what? I think I will."

[k-julia.livejournal.com]

RayK and Yamapi. :-)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"How can you say that? You've know me for, like, forever! Stop being an idiot, buddy. Come on, let's get back to the rehearsing, huh?"

"You are not Nishikido Ryo. Do you think I can't tell –"

"But everyone else recognizes me! Haven't you talked to Johnny? I think you should call Johnny right now and –"

"No. No, I don't know what kind of joke this is, but it's not funny. You're old, and you're ugly, and you're a gaijin, and you are *not* Ryo. At all. Like, at *all*."

"Hey! I am not ugly!"

"You kind of are."

"That really hurts. Especially when I remember like it was yesterday that when you were seventeen you told me –"

"Stop right there. I am not listening to you. I am not –"

"Wait till you see me dance," the imposter says, and grins.

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Schuldig and Winnetou.

. . .

. . . what?

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

You are brilliant! I think that is my new favorite pairing. :-)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"My brother and your chief are well," Winnetou says after returning to the ground. He inspects the thing he pulled from the tree's trunk for a moment and then looks towards the horizon, and all around at the featureless plains of the prairie. "They were here only a day before us. They have also evaded the Kiowas' grasp, and will meet with us in the mountains."

He hands the thing to Schuldig. It's a twig.

Schuldig stares at it. The twig looks a lot like a twig, and the only thing it's saying to Schuldig is 'I am a twig'.

"You get all that from this?"

Winnetou inclines his head gravely and clucks his tongue. Schuldig is puzzled for a second until the man's horse is suddenly right there, and Winnetou swings into the saddle with a liquid grace that Schuldig – stiff from too many days in the saddle – is really beginning to resent.

"And it's really going to be another week until we get there?" No, that is not a whine. It's a legitimate question.

No answer. Schuldig guesses that means it was a stupid (if legitimate) question which merits no attention.

He tries to sneak up on the man's thoughts again, stealthily and just as quietly as the man himself sneaking through the enemy camp. No luck. Fuck these Indians and their superstitions and shamans and medicine bags. Nobody in Europe even believes in telepaths anymore.

"He's not really my chief, you know," Schuldig says after an hour or so, because he is about to go straight out of his mind with the silence. He isn't used to it, and he doesn't like it. "Or at least that's not all he is. In fact, I kind of get the feeling he's not my chief in the same way that your brother is not your brother."

Winnetou says nothing. Surprise.

"Do you really have to be quite so silently strong?" And yeah, now he is whining. "Just – talk to me, for god's sake. I'm willing to compromise on the subject. If you don't want to talk about your, err, *brother* then we can swap war stories. Or you can lecture me on the subject of twigs and their manifold meanings. Or – hell, if you want you can just tell me in detail about the many ways in which I annoy you."

"You do not annoy me," Winnetou says serenely. And – is that an actual *smile*? "You speak with your mind – and if you cannot, you must yet speak. That is your nature. You can no more change it than the wolf can walk upright like a man."

Huh. "I'm glad you picked a wolf there, and not a rat or something," Schuldig comments. "I guess you really like me after all."

"You are a warrior," Winnetou says. And that's the last thing he says that day.

Schuldig has had worse conversations.

[puddingcat.livejournal.com]

Adam-the-possible-AntiChrist & Hakkai!

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

This is a wonderful idea and a difficult thing to get right. :-) Give me time, I beg of you! I will try to do justice to the cracked out crossoveriness of the idea. *g*

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"My," Hakkai says mildly. "That *is* interesting."

"Isn't it great?" The child all but explodes with happiness (and more than a touch of pride). "Safety first!"

"Indeed." Hakkai runs a careful hand along jeep's (if you can still call it that) side.

"And also, luggage space. Because you're going a long way, and you probably want to bring back souvenirs and stuff. Like, maybe some wooden crocodiles or Toledo swords or demon hula dolls."

Jeep vibrates with what Hakkai can only interpret as confusion. Understandable, seeing as this morning it had featured neither airbags, nor a spacious trunk, nor – "A parking and navigation laser GPS system?"

"It’s the coolest! Like, with lasers. And satellites! And you can also use it to light cigarettes. Theoretically. Because, you know, smoking is bad for you."

Hakkai wonders whether his companions will all have become non-smokers when they join him in front of the inn.

"Adam, was it?"

Adam nods wildly, straw-colored hair flying. "I hope you don't mind. Just, you guys are great, and you're having a hard enough time already, you know?"

"Indeed." The child bears no resemblance whatsoever to Kanzeon Bosatsu, and although that isn’t necessarily conclusive, Hakkai would be surprised to find the Bosatsu in a form as devoid of sexual overtones as this. The aura is also different – instead of being an incandescent, blinding blaze of incomprehensible power, it is simply… missing entirely.

Remarkable.

"I like Goku best," announces the child who is most definitely not a child. "How about you?"

Hakkai fixes the creature with a stern look. "That is a complex and very personal question, young Adam, which you should not be asking on such short acquaintance."

Adam blinks in confusion for a moment, and then grins. "Oh, I get it! Yeah, it was kind of a dumb thing to ask, wasn't it?"

"Not necessarily. However –"

"But I don't get that whole thing. I mean okay, if you're going to bother liking someone in the first place, and whatever but hey, anyway then it's just stupid not to say so, because otherwise what's the point? And I can tell you for sure that Gojyo would –"

"Adam," Hakkai says, coldly and precisely. "I very much hope that when I see my companions again, they will be entirely unchanged, in all respects. Do I make myself clear?"

"That's not what I meant," mutters Adam, a little sulkily. "I wouldn't do that. That would be wrong!"

That's when Gojyo and the others finally do step out of the inn, and when Hakkai turns back to Adam, Adam is gone.

[without-me.livejournal.com]

Krycek and Dean. (YUM.) Or, y'know, Mulder and Sam.

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

This is unexpectedly difficult! I will definitely write this, but I must ask you for patience. :-)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"Henricksen wasn't just my first partner, you know," says earnest FBI guy. "He was my friend."

Dean doesn't know what to say to that, so he just nods and takes another drink. He's nowhere near drunk enough for this. Rationally, he knows what happened to Henricksen and the others wasn't his fault – but it's hard to get the guilt in his gut to shut up about it, all the same.

It's been even harder since Agent Alexander turned up, all spit and polish and whatnot, still so new to the idea of the things going bump in the night actually being *real* that he lowers his voice every time he speaks about them, as if ashamed to actually give voice to something so ridiculous.

Never mind that he knows enough to believe in them.

"I thought Vic had lost his mind when he called me that night – but then, with what happened afterwards… there were so many things that made no sense, just didn't add up. And so I started doing some digging, and there are a lot of strange things happening that nobody seems to know about. A *lot*."

"Tell me about it," Dean says. "The bastards are like those thingies with the heads. Where you cut one off and then they grow a dozen more and shit. Only the new heads are all different and even worse than the old ones, like wendigos and vampires and fucking demons and stuff you've never even heard of before."

"Yeah – here I am telling you about it when you're the one who's been out there fighting all along."

"But so have you, right?" That gets Dean an oddly sharp look, and Dean tries a grin. "You know, fighting for truth and justice and all that sh – uh. And all. That. Which includes fighting the creepy crawlies, except that if you don't know what you're fighting you can't really do too good a job of it."

Alexander laughs a little and knocks back his own drink, shaking his head. "Yeah. I guess so. The truth will set you free, huh?"

That sounds like a bible quote – Dean's not religious, but the various scriptures are kind of like a bag of salt and a shotgun with some of these things, so he knows his way around holy texts. He hopes Alexander isn't religious; Dean has never met a religious hunter who didn't turn into a complete nutbar sooner or later.

"So. If there's ever anything I can help you with." Alexander leans forward to catch Dean's gaze, and his eyes are very clear and very steady. "Not because of Vic – because someone needs to go after these things. I want to help."

"Yeah, okay," Dean says. They can definitely use some help from inside the law enforcement community, that's for sure.

Alexander smiles. "Call me anytime."

[koorifumi.livejournal.com]

Klaus and Aeryn Sun. Or:
Schuldig and John Crichton.

(Arrgh, now I've got this mental picture of Dorian and Rygel hunting treasure together... fighting over treasure, though Dorian is having a really hard time, being constantly offended by Rygel’s physique.)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

LOL! That's all brilliant. :-) And Dorian and Rygel would be *unstoppable*! (Dorian needs to grow up and learn to appreciate different standards of beauty. I'm sure Rygel will tell him all about it, at length and repeatedly. *g*)

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"So the thief constantly follows you around and asks you to recreate with him. But you don't want to. Correct?"

Recreate? Klaus has never heard it put quite that way before, but it's clear enough what the word means from the context. He grunts assent.

When he glances around the corner, the smoke has cleared somewhat and he can tell there are only five Peacekeepers left in their path. He gives Sun a quick hand signal that she responds to immediately, and they advance, with Sun laying down covering fire and Klaus dispatching the first opponents. When one tries to dodge around him Sun takes him out with a snake-quick kick and a flurry of moves almost too fast to follow.

Klaus is reminded of why he approves of her. He would not mind having her in his squad on a permanent basis.

"Have you tried breaking his arm as a deterrent?" Sun asks, her voice tinny over the combat helmet's speaker,

"Of course not."

The door to the control room is locked, of course. Klaus signals for Sun to stand back as he slaps the charge to the lock mechanism, and they retreat back around the corner again to wait for the blast.

This would be easier if they had the others with them – but then it wouldn't be as much fun, Klaus admits in the privacy of his own thoughts.

"Why not?" Sun demands while they wait.

Klaus stares at her. She seems to be serious, so he considers the idea for a moment. "It would be excessive. Also, there would be an inquiry, and I would be reprimanded, and it would all be a lot of nonsense that I can't be bothered with for the sake of that pervert."

The charge goes off and they charge. The control room turns out to be deserted, which is almost disappointing. Oh well. They still have to get to the landing bay to steal a ship.

"That's a load of dren," Sun says while she is entering the override into the navigation console.

Klaus can't look at her just then because it would mean taking his eyes off the corridor behind the hole in the door, but he doesn't really need to; by now, he knows the expression that accompanies that tone of voice. "I am not interested in your opinion."

She snorts. He ignores her. Peacekeeper reinforcements arrive, and they run very quickly.

"Look, I've had this human following me around wanting to recreate with me for months," Sun starts again when they're almost at the landing bay. "I've beaten him up a few times, but not too badly. And you know why *I* haven't broken his arm yet?"

"Because you would be reprimanded by your superiors?"

"Hah! My superiors would give me a medal. No. No, it's because I'm having *fun*." She grins like a wolf. "Don't want to discourage him too much, you know?"

He grunts at her, and she grins more broadly.

[girlearthless.livejournal.com]

Junno and Draco ;D

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

You are insane in the best of ways! :-) This is a lovely idea, which I will try to do right by. *g* But give me some time, please!

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

"Sakura, with the tail feather of an aosaginohi," says Draco's new partner. "Nice, huh?"

"What with the what now?" Draco mutters sourly.

It's only been two hours, and already Draco considers this auror exchange program to be one of the harshest trials of his after-school existence. And Draco had thought things couldn't get worse after his last partner ran off with a hag.

"So," says Taguchi after reclaiming his wand. "You want to flush out the first row?"

Draco wishes he could blame this assignment on his partner – either the old or the new one would do. But the truth is that he probably shouldn't have given in to the impulse to list the minister's many faults without first checking to see if she was standing right behind him.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" calls Taguchi with obnoxious cheer as Draco sends the spell hurtling along the row of shelves.

Two fraggles jump out of old files stacked on the archive's shelves, chased by small whirls of magic. One of them is still chewing on a mouth full of paper; the other is in suspenders, hastily pulling on a tiny overcoat.

Taguchi flicks his (sakura-whatever) wand with an entirely unnnecessary flourish and the creatures clatter to the floor in two small cages, shaking tiny fists through the bars and complaining with high-pitched voices.

Well, the guy has good aim, at least. And he's not bad with charms. Though…

"Just incinerate them and be done with it," Draco says. "They're complete pests – no useful qualities at all."

"No!" Taguchi is all wide-eyed shock. Great, one of *those*. "We can't do that! They're harmless – and they're really cute, too. Look, this red one has a little hat! Here, fraggle fraggle…"

The cute red fraggle tries to bite Taguchi when he sticks a finger into the cage to pet it. Draco smirks, feeling his mood lighten somewhat.

"I'll just let them go somewhere they won't bother anyone, once we're done here."

Draco lets out a long-suffering gust of air and says nothing as he moves to the next row. What the fuck ever.

"So what exactly did you do to get stuck with this shitty assignment?" he asks idly when they're about halfway through the first cavern. "Fuck up an important case? Trash-talk your superior? Sleep with your boss's wife, or husband?"

Taguchi laughs and twirls his wand. No, seriously – Draco sees it clear as day. The man actually *twirls his wand*. "You're funny! I like you. I think we'll get along like magic!"

Too much cheer can really ruin your day.

"I bet you were a Hufflepuff, or whatever Hufflepuffs are wherever the fuck you come from," Draco tells his new partner later that night, as he swings onto his broomstick. He really needs to get drunk now.

Taguchi, of course, doesn't even realize he's been dealt a lethal insult; he just smiles and levitates the huge pile of fraggle cages with a flamboyant flick of the wand and a galling lack of effort.

To add insult to injury, Taguchi flies like a dragon, even on the lousy ministry-issue broomstick.

[japanimecrazed.livejournal.com]

*g* I don't know how I missed this; it's really cute. Poor Draco, having to deal with Hufflepuffian Junno.

Don't feel bad about getting me hooked on Junno/Ryo. It's an awesome pairing, and I'm glad to learn you plan to post more soon.

[rheasilvia.livejournal.com]

Honestly, the things Draco has to put up with! At least you understand his pain - I'm sure that is some consolation. *g*

And: J/R is an awesome pairing! It so is. Not that I'm partial or anything. ;-)

The editing of the new story is kicking my ass at the moment, but I will prevail in the end.