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rheasilviaLast night solo____ and I watched Thor. We suspected it's the kind of movie impossible to bear sober, so the plan was to get drunk. In a surprise twist, my freaky metabolism prevented this... however, even extreme intoxication might not have been a match for this movie.
Warning 1: Here be spoilers!
Warning 2: If you liked this movie, this may disgruntle you, because, well. We did not. Tastes differ! Caveat lector!
Fifteen random impressions from Thor.
1.
Loki looks kind of gay (although he is probably trying to look cynical and/or sarcastic). Thor looks kind of stupid (although he does try to compensate by an excess of guyliner).
2.
An Asian god and an African god have lost their way between the dimensions and been accepted into the Nordic pantheon. Meanwhile, on earth, there are only WASPs.
3.
Heimdall's odd accent temporarily raises hopes of a better movie: "I swear I will protect this realm as its gay keeper."
4.
The Ice Giant King speaks the first good line, adressing Thor: "Run back home, little princess."
5.
Thor is three years old. So is Loki.
6.
The only thing Thor has any chemistry with in this entire movie is Mjolnir. Thor/Mjolnir OTP! (Mjolnir, incidentally, is the brains of the relationship.)
7.
Loki has a Screaming Spat of Extreme Angst at Odin. Odin falls asleep in the middle of it. This kind of behavior may account for the fact that your sons are not well-adjusted, Allfather.
8.
Odin is a narcoleptic.
9.
Lessons in Diplomacy from Odin, Part One. How to create peace between two realms: steal the enemy king's baby.
10.
Lessons in Diplomacy from Odin, Part Two. How to make sure your sons get along: tell them from childhood on that only one of them can ascend to the throne, but both of them were born to be kings.
11.
Thor wears more make-up than the girl. Admittedly, he needs it more.
12.
Loki is a bad and short-sighted liar as well as a clumsy and incompetent plotter. He also has no idea of how to manipulate anyone but Thor (who is the equivalent of a teething ring for manipulators).
13.
It is very easy to impress and/or scare small-town Americans. Crazy talk about mythology is a good way to be labelled "dangerous"; walking down a street dressed for a scifi convention will garner the kinds of awed and fearful looks that it takes a fire-breathing dragon to achieve elsewhere.
14.
Thor and Loki's mother only speaks in whispers.
15.
The most satisfying thing about this movie is Thor being repeatedly run down by a car. The tasering is entertaining, too.
solo____ and I watched Thor. We suspected it's the kind of movie impossible to bear sober, so the plan was to get drunk. In a surprise twist, my freaky metabolism prevented this... however, even extreme intoxication might not have been a match for this movie.Warning 1: Here be spoilers!
Warning 2: If you liked this movie, this may disgruntle you, because, well. We did not. Tastes differ! Caveat lector!
Fifteen random impressions from Thor.
1.
Loki looks kind of gay (although he is probably trying to look cynical and/or sarcastic). Thor looks kind of stupid (although he does try to compensate by an excess of guyliner).
2.
An Asian god and an African god have lost their way between the dimensions and been accepted into the Nordic pantheon. Meanwhile, on earth, there are only WASPs.
3.
Heimdall's odd accent temporarily raises hopes of a better movie: "I swear I will protect this realm as its gay keeper."
4.
The Ice Giant King speaks the first good line, adressing Thor: "Run back home, little princess."
5.
Thor is three years old. So is Loki.
6.
The only thing Thor has any chemistry with in this entire movie is Mjolnir. Thor/Mjolnir OTP! (Mjolnir, incidentally, is the brains of the relationship.)
7.
Loki has a Screaming Spat of Extreme Angst at Odin. Odin falls asleep in the middle of it. This kind of behavior may account for the fact that your sons are not well-adjusted, Allfather.
8.
Odin is a narcoleptic.
9.
Lessons in Diplomacy from Odin, Part One. How to create peace between two realms: steal the enemy king's baby.
10.
Lessons in Diplomacy from Odin, Part Two. How to make sure your sons get along: tell them from childhood on that only one of them can ascend to the throne, but both of them were born to be kings.
11.
Thor wears more make-up than the girl. Admittedly, he needs it more.
12.
Loki is a bad and short-sighted liar as well as a clumsy and incompetent plotter. He also has no idea of how to manipulate anyone but Thor (who is the equivalent of a teething ring for manipulators).
13.
It is very easy to impress and/or scare small-town Americans. Crazy talk about mythology is a good way to be labelled "dangerous"; walking down a street dressed for a scifi convention will garner the kinds of awed and fearful looks that it takes a fire-breathing dragon to achieve elsewhere.
14.
Thor and Loki's mother only speaks in whispers.
15.
The most satisfying thing about this movie is Thor being repeatedly run down by a car. The tasering is entertaining, too.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-12 03:37 am (UTC)Not true! I was really pleased to see the person who has to Explain Their Mystical Heritage was the white guy explaining to the two Jewish girls!
Not that it was a good movie, but it was fun!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-12 01:47 pm (UTC)I'd hoped to be able to enjoy the movie even though I knew it wouldn't be good, but for me that didn't work out. Good for you that in your case, it did!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-18 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-18 11:15 am (UTC)Yes, it really does! *g* Poor Mjolnir, it must be a very unsatisfying relationship for it...